Physical therapy... psh more like Emotional Therapy.

      I've been going to physical therapy now for about three weeks due to a broken clavicle that I had to have surgery on. I'm lucky enough to be friends with a physical therapist, who is pretty much one of the funniest people I know and incidentally, he and his wife also had a hard time getting pregnant. Well tonight I went to my regular session and he worked my arm and massaged it for all of about 30 minutes but then we preceded to talk for about an hour and a half longer. All about the struggle he and his wife had to go through to have a baby. It was definitely good to hear from someone who's been through it and is very honest and open about how they had the exact same thoughts and feelings that I'm having right now. One of the biggest things I took from what we talked about tonight is he told me that even though I'm "broken", I'm not actually broken. Which at first made absolutely no sense to me and then he explained that just because this particular path doesn't work for me doesn't mean I'm not going to end up where I need to be. This just isn't the path I need to take to get there. As he put it, you can't drive a truck on railroad tracks. In addition to that wonderful piece of advice he gave me he said that I need to stop letting the fact that I need help to have a baby continue to eat away at me. That sure, I have a lot of grieving ahead of me, but letting it eat me from the inside out is only going to make things that much harder. Take the medicine, let it do its thing, let go, and just stop worrying about it. He also told me to get really drunk and have lots of sex, but that's beside the point. I love when seemingly insignificant, routine events turn out to be the exact thing you needed at that moment.
     On another note, I've been taking the Provera for about three days now and have been feeling a little nauseated. I'm not sure if it's from the medication or for some other unknown reason. Has anyone else had a problem with it? I've also started taking a prenatal vitamin but I'm not supposed to start the Metformin until after I do my labs here in a week or so. Hopefully those all turn out okay. I do have to say though that I've never felt like I stuck out more in the grocery store than when I've got ovulation tests and prenatal vitamins in my hand. I mean really, I could be walking around with tampons, condoms, and stool softener, but as soon as I have a pregnancy test or the like in my hand I feel like I have a spotlight following me though the store. Silly, I know.
     I'm finding myself less in the mood for sex since I found out about all of this. I almost feel like there's no point if I can't even make a baby with out a drug intervention. I kind of forgot all about the enjoyment of sex and thought of it basically as a means to an end. Which is not going to help the situation at all. So here's my plan of attack, and I'm going to follow it to the best of my ability. I'm making no promises though. I'm going to relax and enjoy having sex with my husband. I'm going to take my medication and let it do it's thing. And I am not going to stress. Much.